Monday, March 14, 2016

Introducing: The Britney Spears Song Bracket


It's March, which means it's the time of year for brackets. The NCAA men's basketball tournament bracket was unveiled Sunday -- after being leaked on Twitter -- and the women's basketball tournament unveiled its bracket on Monday. In the days to come there will be countless other brackets having nothing to do with basketball, because that's just what happens on the Internet these days.

So who am I to ignore the trend?

With that in mind, it's time to unveil the long-overdue Britney Bracket. Sixty-eight songs enter. Only one can survive. Now, before I get to the bracket itself (which isn't actually in bracket form, because I'm too lazy to break out software to build one), let's go over some quick background. The last time I did any kind of ranking of Britney Spears songs was way back in 2009, which was two entire studio albums ago for Britney. So obviously some things have changed in those rankings -- and my opinions of some of the songs in that 2009 ranking has changes as well. I could have enlisted the thoughts of others in putting together my field, but to steal a line from my buddy Marc Stein, this was a Committee of One. No BPI, RPI, KenPom or anything like that. Just my opinion. So yell at me if you disagree, or -- better yet -- vote in each matchup.

The votes themselves will take place on Twitter, where you can follow me at @AdamReisinger.  I'll start with the "First Four" matchups -- two battles between 16 seeds on Tuesday, then two more on Wednesday -- then we'll get to the real bracket on Thursday.

Now, without further ado, the Field of 68:

First Four

(16) Deep In My Heart def. (16) Cinderella , 53-47
(16) Mona Lisa def. (16) Anticipating , 58-42
(16) (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction def. (16) Mannequin , 73-27
(16) Rock Me In def. (16) When Your Eyes Say It, 60-40


X Factor Region

(1) Toxic def. (16) Deep In My Heart, 89-11
(8) My Prerogative def. (9) Perfume, 83-17
(5) I Wanna Go def. (12) Lace and Leather, 76-24
(4) Me Against the Music def. (13) Body Ache, 77-23

(3) Piece of Me def. (14) Do Somethin', 73-27
(6) Ooh Ooh Baby def. (11) Work Bitch, 57-43
(10) Gimme More def. (7) Kill the Lights, 77-23
(2) Lucky def. (15) Bombastic Love, 80-20

Crossroads Region

(1) I'm a Slave 4 U def. (16) Mona Lisa, 87-13
(9) Don't Go Knockin' On My Door def. (8) Touch of My Hand, 64-36
(5) I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman def. (12) Can't Make You Love Me, 82-18
(4) If U Seek Amy def. (13) Tik Tik Boom, 67-33

(3) Overprotected def. (14) Shadow, 58-42
(6) Hold It Against Me def. (11) Early Mornin', 63-37
(7) Don't Let Me Be the Last To Know def. (10) How I Roll, 60-40
(15) Trouble def. (2) Circus, 60-40

MMC Region

(1) ...Baby One More Time def. (16) (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction, 91-9
(9) (I Got That) Boom Boom def. (8) Hot as Ice in OT, 75-25
(5) My Only Wish (This Year) def. (12) Everybody, 55-45
(4) Sometimes def. (13) Boys (Album Version), 79-21

(3) Boys (The Co-Ed Remix) def. (14) What U See (Is What U Get), 56-44
(6) Breathe on Me vs. (11) Unusual You, 62-38
(7) From the Bottom of My Broken Heart def. (10) Break the Ice, 52-48
(2) Stronger vs. (15) Showdown, 92-8

Chaotic Region

(1) Oops!...I Did It Again vs. (16) Rock Me In, 93-7
(8) 3 def. (9) Shattered Glass, 65-35
(5) Radar def. (12) Outrageous, 67-33
(13) Till The World Ends def. (4) Born to Make You Happy, 56-44

(3) Crazy (The Stop Remix) def. (14) I've Just Begun (Havin' My Fun), 89-11
(6) Womanizer def. (11) Get Naked (I Got A Plan), 94-6
(10) What It's Like To Be Me def. (7) Lonely, 62-38
(15) (You Drive Me) Crazy (Album Version) def. (2) Everytime, 60-40

We have two rounds in the books. You can see the second round here, and the Sweet Sixteen here. Voting continues on my Twitter page, where you can also let me know how I totally screwed your favorite song by giving it a bad matchup.

Happy voting, and may the best song win!

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