The Knicks are old.
You're going to hear that a lot this season, though when people say "old" they mean "old in professional basketball terms and not really old in relation to the general U.S. Population". Being old does not disqualify the Knicks from winning the championship, any more than it guarantees them success.
But how old are the Knicks, really? Well, according to The Wall Street Journal and STATS Inc., the Knicks with Rasheed Wallace would be the oldest team in NBA history. But that doesn't quite capture it. So let's go through the roster and give some perspective on just how old the Knicks are.
There are 13 players on the Knicks roster with guaranteed contracts, plus the likely signing of Wallace. Of those 14, only second-year guard Iman Shumpert can truly be called "not old." As for everyone else?
'Melo came into the league in 2003-04 with the Nuggets. One of his teammates on that Denver team was Jon Barry, who has been retired for seven seasons and now works as an analyst at ESPN. Melo is old.
STAT made his first career start on Nov. 23, 2002. His fellow starters: Shawn Marion, Stephon Marbury, Anfernee Hardaway and Jake Tsakalidis. Only Marion is still in the NBA. Amar'e is old.
Tyson Chandler was once traded for P.J. Brown, who was the oldest player on the Celtics team that won the NBA title five seasons ago. Chandler is old.
As a rookie, Marcus Camby had not one, but TWO teammates who were born in the 1950s. Marcus Camby is old.
Steve Novak played on an NBA team with Juwan Howard, and Juwan Howard WASN'T the oldest player on the team. Steve Novak is old.
Raymond Felton was the top high school point guard recruit in the class of 2002. The top center that year? Amar'e Stoudmire. The top small forward? Carmelo Anthony. Therefore if Amar'e and Carmelo are old, Felton is too. Raymond Felton is old.
Do I even have to justify this one? OK, fine. Kidd and teammate Jimmy Jackson once reportedly feuded over singer Toni Braxton. Braxton hasn't had a top 40 hit since 2000. Jason Kidd is old.
Like Chandler, Smith has a connection with the ancient P.J. Brown. They were teammates. On a team on which Brown wasn't the oldest player. Man, J.R. Smith is old.
This really doesn't need any further explaining. But here goes. As a rookie, Kurt Thomas' teammates included Jeff Malone, Danny Schayes, Kevin Willis and current Jazz coach Tyrone Corbin. Kurt Thomas is old.
Don't be fooled by the fact that James White is technically only in his third NBA season. When James White was a McDonald's All-American (and got robbed in the Dunk Contest) Kobe Bryant had one ring.
At 27, Ronnie Brewer isn't really that old, but to put it in perspective, he was born before Michael Jordan had even played a full NBA season. So, sure, I guess Ronnie Brewer is old.
He hasn't signed yet, but when he does, he'll be the latest old Knick. Sheed is so old that he once played for the Washington Bullets. Really. Rasheed Wallace is old.
And last, but certainly not least, we come to "rookie" Pablo Prigioni. The Argentinian import is about to become the oldest rookie in NBA history. He's 35. He shares a birthday (May 17) with me, except he was born three years before me. And I'm old. So, yeah, Pablo Prigioni is old.
There you have it. Proof that everyone on the Knicks is old. Sure, maybe Iman Shumpert isn't, but have you seen that dude's hair? "House Party" came out a LONG time ago.