Over the last few days -- during my self-imposed break from blogging and participating in social media -- I asked myself a few times why I continued to do it. I started this blog way back in 2002 as a LiveJournal (remember those?), mostly to keep my college friends informed on what was going on in my life after I moved away. Over the years its morphed into something less about ME and more about my opinions on things. I'm not necessarily sure that's a bad thing, since my life isn't nearly interesting enough to support a regularly-updated blog, but I'm not sure it's a good thing either.
You see, when I started blogging more regularly (and just check the post counts on the sidebar to see the development of that happening), I told myself it was a way to keep my writing skills honed. I'd been a writer in some organized fashion from my freshman year of high school through my senior year of college, but hadn't had any official writing assignments after 2002. I'd tried writing a couple stories during that time, but nothing held my interest long enough to get finished. The blog, however, managed to do that.
At least, it had, up until recently. In the last few months, somehow it's felt more like an obligation than a diversion. I think its clear I bit off more than I could chew with my ambitious TV review schedule, an endeavor that's resulted in more than 150 posts since September, but also a lot of unnecessary cynicism toward television in general. I continued to watch, and review, shows long after I would have given up on them in the past out of some misplaced sense of obligation. I love that there are people that read this blog regularly, but the fact is there aren't enough of them to justify the time I spend on it.
Now, don't think this is some desperate pitiful attempt to get more readers -- it's not. The fact is, I've been very happy to have a small but dedicated readership throughout the life of this site. And I'd be fine with that being the case going forward as well, as long as I'm happy producing content for the site. And the amount of content I've been producing over the past 18 months or so has resulted in the law of diminishing returns kicking in.
On top of that, what started out as a project to allow me to continue writing is now actually preventing me from writing, at least in a form I really want to. Long-time readers of the blog (and yes, I know you're out there), may remember a series of posts that involved an original piece of fiction I'd been working on. Well, at one point, I'd started turning that series of short stories into a full-length novel, but as I spent more and more time on the blog, that project got pushed to the back-burner. Even as more and more ideas percolated in my head, I would just jot something down quickly, then get back to reviewing bad TV shows, even as I wished they'd just get canceled.
Well, it's time for me to get back to writing what I really want to write, rather than write about what other people are writing (and acting, and producing, and etc.).
Now, that doesn't mean this blog is going away completely. Far from it. There are still a handful of TV shows I really enjoy reviewing on a weekly basis ("Glee", "30 Rock" and "Futurama" among them), and I'll keep doing those. And I may even still chime in on the other TV shows I watch when inspiration strikes. I'll still do "Jersey Monday" and "This Week in Buffy History", and I'll probably even keep "Desktop Girl of the Week" going for awhile.
But, on top of that, I plan to keep you all updated on my progress with my writing outside of the blog. Maybe it'll be something that interests you, maybe it won't. And that's fine. Because I've always intended this site to be something I do for me, and it's time for me to get back to that mission.
Oh, and despite the title of this post, I really should make it clear that I'm not actually shutting the blog down. It's just a "30 Rock" reference. But you knew that, right?