NOTE: THIS POST WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED AS PART OF ADAMREISINGER.COM'S APRIL FOOLS DAY 2010 STUNT
OK, so I just got finished watching "New Moon" for the like the 100th time and I even tweeted about it, but my lame relative sent me this text message after:
Eve, seriously, please watch something better than that "Twilight" crap. If you really like vampire-related media, try "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". It's significantly better than "Twilight". Trust me.OK, well, I mean, aside from the fact that he's like totally wrong, he's almost like 30 anyway, so his opinion doesn't even count. I mean, how can you trust someone who's SOOOOOO old?!
And besides, he's WAY wrong about "Buffy". I mean, it's totally lame compared to "Twilight". First of all, that Buffy chick, she's not even close to being as cool as Bella. I mean, when Buffy found out that her boyfriend Angel (and WHAT A LAME NAME) was a vampire, she totally freaked out, but Bella was like tots cool with Edward being a vampire. She even figured it out on her own, how awesome is that?! And when Edward left Bella, did she just give up and move on to some lame normal guy? Um, no. But Buffy did.. AND she tried to kill Angel too. I mean, what kind of girlfriend is she? Plus, she's always running around getting all sweaty and stinky and killing vampires. EWW.
Also, "Buffy" totally ripped off "Twilight" in tons of ways. High school girl with vampire boyfriend? Twilight did it. Vampire boyfriend leaves high school girl? Twilight did it. Vampire boyfriend tries to expose himself to sunlight because he's all broken up about high school girl? Twilight did it. Buffy even stole werewolves from Twilight, but Buffy only has one werewolf and he's lame. Yeah, sure, he's in a band, but he's not even like the lead singer or anything. I bet if Jacob had a band, he'd be the lead singer. OMG, then Taylor Lautner could do a song with Taylor Swift! That'd be the best song ever!
Oh, and in Buffy, in the end, Buffy and Angel don't even get back together. I mean, what's Buffy supposed to do without her boyfriend? Why didn't Angel just turn Buffy into a vampire like Edward did for Bella? That would be so awesome! Bella and Edward got to have a BABY together! Yeah, Angel got to have a baby too, but that happened on another show, and who has time for that. Could you imagine if there was a whole other book series you had to read to find out what happened to Edward? That would suck.
So, in conclusion (my teachers always said you should wrap up with "in conclusion" so people know you're finishing) Twilight is WAY better than Buffy. That's because Twilight is by a woman, Stephanie Meyer, who totally knows everything women want, and Buffy is written by a stupid man, Josh Wheaton or whatevs.