My Twitter Pet Peeves

I'll admit, I used to be one of those people who thought Twitter was stupid, that it was just a tool for people to overshare the mundane tasks of their daily lives while pretending to be friends with celebrities (OMG! I'm following Ashton Kutcher! That means we're BFF!)

But last year I started using it for work-related purposes, then decided to start my own account, and slowly but surely I came around to realize the benefits of a micro-blogging service, where I can send out my quick thoughts on sports, music, movies, or yes, even the mundane tasks of my daily life (note: I try to avoid these updates as much as possible, or at least add context beyond a boring play-by-play of what I'm doing).

Still, there are some aspects of Twitter that still annoy me to no end, and since I've got more than 140 characters to use here on, I'm going to use them.

- Followers who insist that you follow them back, and get angry when you don't.
You know who I'm talking about: the random person that follows you out of nowhere, then sends you a message along the lines of "@adamreisinger, how bout follow 4 follow?". 95 percent of the time, when you actually check this person's Twitter profile, their last 20 messages are nothing but that same exact message sent to 20 different people, and no matter how far you go back in their timeline all they ever send out are requests to be followed, and notifications that they're not following someone anymore. If I'm going to follow you, you need to add SOMETHING to my timeline. Also, if you check my following list, you'll notice certain themes among who I'm following, and generally, if you don't fit one of those themes, then I'm probably not going to follow you. It's nothing personal, it's just I have certain uses for Twitter, and like to keep my following list dedicated to those uses.
- People who over-indulge in Twitter "Days"
If you use Twitter long enough, you'll figure out how hashtags work. Eventually, you'll notice certain hashtags filling your timeline the same time every week. These hashtag memes, particularly #musicmonday and #followfriday can be insightful and enhance your Twitter experience. What they shouldn't do, however, is turn into spam. I don't need you to send out a Music Monday update for every song you listen to that day, especially if you're spending the next 10 hours doing nothing but listening to your iPod on shuffle. And I really, really, really (yes, 3 reallys) don't need you to give a #ff shoutout to every single person you're following, particularly if that list is more than a couple dozen people. At it's simplest, it's really fucking annoying when someone fills up your timeline with 300 #ff updates, and beyond that, it results in diminishing returns. If you send out one or two #ff suggestions, I'll probably at least give them a glance; if you send out 200, I'll completely ignore them.

- Twitter Slang
Yes, we all know Twitter starts with "tw". That doesn't mean you need to take every other word of your update and start it with "tw". And you'll notice I've avoided using the word "tweet" until this point. I just think it sounds stupid, especially when used as a verb. I know that it's become standard usage, but that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to dislike it (that's why this are pet peeves... and no, I'm not calling them "tweeves", so just shut up now).

- TXT-speak
I'm well aware that Twitter is only 140 characters, so you have to be judicious with your words, and abbreviate whenever possible. That's fine, I get that. What I don't get is the insistence on destroying the English language even when you're well short of the 140-character limit. "Sup tweeps, I rly h8 my bff right now" is not only stupid, but it's only 37 characters. You've got 103 more. Use them.

- Repetition
Originally I had two separate pet peeves here, but they really boil down to the same thing: repetition. I can't stand it when someone will consistently retweet the same user over and over again. Look, we get it, you like this person and/or what he/she has to say. Just be judicious about it, because, as I wrote above, if you keep repeating the same message constantly, the message loses all meaning. The same philosophy applies to links. I know some social media "experts" (and I don't believe there really is such a thing) will tell you to send out your links frequently to get the message out to a new audience, but there's a limit to how effective that is. If you send out a link to the same blog entry/cause/YouTube video/etc a couple times at different times of the day, that's understandable. If you send out that same link 13 times a day for three consecutive weeks, I'm just gonna stop caring about any link you send out ever.

- Justin Bieber
Fuck this kid. He's always in my God damn trending topics and I have no fucking clue why I should even care about him. Look, fans of Justin Bieber, I get it. You like him a lot. I don't need to know what you'd do when you meet him, or what song of his best represents you or what you thought about his latest video or whatever. I'm happy to say I've never heard a Justin Bieber song (note: "We Are the World 2" doesn't count, since we've all agreed that auto-tuned piece of shit never happened), and I promise to never send out another tweet (GAH! there's that word!) about this kid, not even to rant about why he's always in the fucking trending topics when there's actual real shit going on in the world (and by "real shit" I mean the frivolities I write about, like sports, comics, Buffy or Britney Spears, all of which are more important than Justin Bieber because I say so).