Friday Five - Reasons I Hate Taylor Swift

OK, hate is probably a strong word, but I think anyone that knows me, or follows me on Twitter knows that I do not like Taylor Swift. Yesterday I went to the cafeteria at work to get some lunch. As I walked in, a Taylor Swift song was playing on the in-house music system. I nearly walked right out and got lunch somewhere else. That’s how much I dislike this girl.

But why do I dislike her. Well, since PooZ spelled out his reasons for hating Lady Gaga over on, I figure it’s only fair for me to do the same regarding Taylor Swift.

1. I Don’t Like Country Music
Let’s ease into this, so I don’t get too angry, too fast. In general, I’m not a country music fan, so I’ve got a natural disinclination toward Swift and her music. I’m pretty sure the only country in my iTunes Library is some old Shania Twain and “The Gambler”. And Taylor Swift is no Kenny Rogers.

2. Her Songs Aren’t That Good
Taylor Swift gets a lot of credit for writing her own songs. That’s be great, if the lyrics were anything special. They’re not. You know that song “You Belong With Me”? Well, I kinda liked it... back when it was called “The Girl Next Door” peformed by Saving Jane. Swift herself has said “if you listen to my albums, it’s like reading my diary.” How is that a good thing? The diary of a 15-year-old girl does not a quality song make.

3. She’s Not Hot
Now, I’m not saying I’d kick her out of bed, but that’s not the standard we should be holding her to. In most of her candid shots, she’s got that same weird scrunched up face that Renee Zellweger has and in her posed shots, she’s airbrushed beyond recognition. Oh, and can we PLEASE get this bitch a sandwich. What is she, like a size negative-four?

4. Overexposure
A couple years ago, I had never even heard of Taylor Swift. Now she’s hosting SNL, doing video game commercials, showing up in movies (oh, and kinda unrelated to this, but I’ve seen like a million promos for “Valentine’s Day” -- that movie’s gonna BLOW. No way you put 37 stars in a movie if it’s actually worth seeing) and next year she’s even hosting the VMAs. Speaking of...

5. Kanye West was Right!
Look, after Kanye crashed the stage at this year’s VMAs and wrecked Taylor’s moment, we all had to pretend like we were sorry for her. Whatever. Lost in all of the aftermath was that Kanye West was right: Beyonc√©’s video WAS better than Taylor Swift’s. If Beyonc√© won for Best Video, then shouldn’t she by definition have also won for Best Female Video?


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