The Nerdiest Thing I Own...

Over the past few years, there’s been this trend developing that’s made it somewhat cool to be a “nerd”. Of course, it’s easier if you’re a hot nerd, or a rich nerd, but it’s no longer completely socially unacceptable to be a nerd.

So, of course, in that context, I can have conversations at work in which the question comes up “what’s the nerdiest thing you own.” Now, let me fill you in on the context of the question. Two of the people I work with know I’m a big Kelly Clarkson fan (mostly because I request days off to go to Kelly Clarkson concerts), and at one point, they had a bet over whether I owned the movie “From Justin to Kelly” (for the record, I don’t).

That subject somehow came up again today, and when I reminded them that I don’t own it, one of them asked “so what is the nerdiest thing you own?”

I wasn’t going to answer the question, mostly because I’m not sure I could narrow it down, but then she admitted that she had New Kids on the Block’s “Hangin’ Tough Live” on VHS. That’s pretty bad. So I started mentally going through my DVD library, and aside from the massive Britney Spears collection, I wasn’t really coming up with anything on the NKOTB scale of nerdiness.

Now, given where I work, anything sports related wasn’t going to qualify, and I don’t really own any truly nerdy sports memorabilia. Yes, I do have a sizable collection of McFarlane SportsPicks figures on my desk, and a large collection of sports cards in my basement, but amazingly the company I keep at work doesn’t qualify this as “nerdy”. Quite the contrary. So we’ll skip all of that.

In considering the single nerdiest thing I own, I also had to eliminate general collections. Yes, on the whole, my “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” action figure collection is incredibly nerdy, but its hard to say any individual figure is MORE nerdy than any other one (though I did give plenty of thought to “Fiesta Giles”, which is both a dorky-looking figure and the one that eluded me for the longest time).

The same problem applied to comic books -- it’d be hard to pick the nerdiest individual comic I own. Sure, some of the old Amazing Spider-Man back issues from the ‘60s and ‘70s are nerdy, but they’re also classics, so I’m not going with them. I’ve also got an impressive set of nerdy collectibles, including the batarang from the collector’s edition of “Batman: Arkham Asylum”, a matching set of Mary Jane Watson and Gwen Stacy statues and, again, more “Buffy” stuff than I’d care to recount here (but you can see all of it on my Buffy collection page -- which is actually kind of out of date, but I’ll fix that eventually). Still, none of it rose to “nerdiest” status.

I almost settled on a piece of “Veronica Mars” merchandise that I actually really enjoy but everyone I know makes fun of me for owning. I have the Season 1 set of “Veronica Mars” trading cards in the official Inkworks binder, and the binder itself is signed by Kristen Bell. Making this even nerdier was the fact that I had it shipped to work when I got it, and opened it in front of a bunch of co-workers. They still make fun of me for it. I don’t care (a fact that should be pretty obvious, since I’m writing about this on a public-facing blog).

But no, that is not the nerdiest thing I own. That honor (or dishonor) goes to my life-sized Britney Spears Pepsi advertising stand-up. This thing (pictured above) has been a part of my life for the better part of this decade, and has moved with me from college, back home, to an apartment and now to my condo. Amazingly, I still have the eBay e-mail from when I bought this -- on Feb. 5, 2002. It hasn’t been part of my regular decor since 2005, but it’s still in one piece, in my basement, waiting for the day when I’m no longer embarrassed by my ownership of it (note: despite the fact that I just bought a 29-disc Britney Spears box set, that day will probably never come).

OK, that’s enough nerdiness for one day. I promise a sports-related post again sometime in the near future (of course, if you want sports, you could always just visit