Series of Tubes: Rapid Reaction to Monday’s Premieres

This year I’m going to try something different for “Series of Tubes” (which, if you don’t remember, is what I call my TV wrap-ups). Instead of waiting for the end of the week to write about what I’ve watched, I’m going to do quick posts the next day.

For today, I’m going to focus on the three season premieres I watched last night (sorry “Gossip Girl”, you get screwed because you premiered a week early).

How I Met Your Mother (8 ET on CBS)
The teases about the still unknown mother are getting old, but that was the only bad thing about this episode. I love Barney and Robin as a pseudo-couple, and anything that gets Robin into a Canucks jersey is fine by me. Ted’s initial failure at teaching was pretty funny (though not as funny as the vision of Barney popping up in his class and pointing at the hot blonde’s breasts).

It also must be mentioned that the no-longer pregnant Cobie Smulders and Alyson Hannigan were looking phenomenal.
Score: 8 (out of 10)

Heroes (8 and 9 ET on NBC)
So wait, this year’s villains are carneys? What is this, “The Simpsons”? Look, I’ve put up with a lot of shit from this show just so I could get my Hayden Panettiere fix, but this two-parter was just awful.

I am now actively rooting against every character with the exception of Claire (I still heart Hayden) and Peter, who seems to have embraced his powers and is going around New York saving lives under the guise of being a paramedic. It’s the most comic-like storyline this show has had since season 1. Focus on that, drop the government crap, kill Parkman, and maybe, just maybe, this show won’t completely suck.

Also, for a show that’s always had a lot of product placement, yesterday’s episode was just over the top. Sprint and Nissan can go fuck themselves. Oh, and in one scene, Claire’s creepy clingy new friend is describing a forensic experiment. Claire asks how she knew about that stuff and she said she saw it on “Crossing Jordan.” Now, for those of you that don’t know (and judging by the ratings, that’s pretty much everyone), “Crossing Jordan” is an NBC show. I have no idea what it’s about, but given the context of the conversation, I’d assume it’s some kind of CSI clone. So why didn’t the character just saw “I saw it on ‘CSI’”? Because CSI’s on CBS, and Heroes isn’t.
Score: 4 (out of 10)

Castle (10 ET on ABC)
On a related note, ABC’s “Castle” actually made reference to “CSI”, which immediately puts it ahead of “Heroes” in my book.

While I enjoyed the episode, I’d like to see more of Castle’s family, and less of the two quipping cops that work with Beckett. Castle’s daughter -- who saved his relationship with Beckett at the end thanks to some timely accidental advice -- is a good character. Also, she actually acts like a teenager most of the time, as opposed to say, for example, the kids on “Gossip Girl”, who are really depicted as mini-30-somethings.
Score: 7 (out of 10)