I always knew Hell had to be on Long Island.
If you don’t get the reference, or recognize the Islanders player in the picture above, let me explain.
Saturday night, Miroslav Satan -- who has the best name in all of sports -- scored a goal to help the Islanders beat the Capitals. It was his 10th goal of the season.
That’s not the important part, this is: Satan now has 331 goals in his career to go along with 335 assists. That’s 666 career points. That’s right. Satan. 666.
You can’t make this stuff up. Now, the ice didn’t melt when Satan got 666. No one in the crowd spontaneously combusted. And the four horsemen of the apocalypse (that’s War, Famine, Pestilence and Death, not Stuhldreher, Miller, Crowley and Layden) did not overrun Long Island.
Maybe that’s because scholars now believe 616, not 666, is the actual mark of the beast. Or maybe it’s because Satan insists his name is pronounced “shuh-TAN”. Or maybe God himself intervened (he is playing minor league hoops in Portland these days, so maybe that explains the Blazers good fortunes too).
Speak of the Devil, that’s an entire post on AdamReisinger.com about hockey. No, Hell has not frozen over. And I promise I won’t go two days without posting this week -- you know what they say about idle hands being the Devil’s playthings. OK, I’m gonna stop now before this entire post goes to Hell in a handbasket (whoops, too late)... seriously folks, I’ll be here all week... try the veal, and don’t forget to tip your waitresses... they’re working hard as Hell (oh crap, there’s another one... I can’t wait to see what kind of freaky Google searches lead people to this post).