Three to Get Ready: September 29-Oct. 1

A look ahead at the three sporting events I’ll be watching this weekend (and yes, because of the NFL season, Monday counts as part of the weekend).

September 29
Saturday Night Live, 11:30 ET on NBC

This counts as a sporting event for this week, only because LeBron James is hosting. I am a fan of all things LeBron, so I’ll definitely be watching this one. Plus, for those that aren’t as big on LeBron as I am, Kanye West is the musical guest, and I’m pretty sure he’ll put on a good show.

September 30
Marlins at Mets, 1 ET on WPIX
This could actually be a meaningless game for the Mets, who now trail the Phillies by a game in the NL East and could be eliminated Saturday (and if you’ve been reading my site, you know I eliminated the Mets on Wednesday). Still, it is the season finale, and it’s not on SNY, so I can actually watch it. Plus, who knows, maybe the Phillies can live up to their history by choking harder than the Mets.

October 1
Patriots at Bengals, 8:30 ET on ESPN
Barring some strange results on Saturday and Sunday in the National League, this will actually be the ONLY sporting event to watch Monday. No baseball, no basketball, no regular-season hockey (which does start this weekend in London, but then doesn’t resume until Wednesday) and no college football. So the NFL’s got the spotlight all to itself. Of course, that spotlight was probably stolen by Bill Belichick so he could use it to improve the lighting for his illegal taping of opposing coaches’ signals. Or maybe Robert Kraft stole the spotlight so no one could shine it on the giant hole where Connecticut’s professional football team is supposed to be. Yeah, that’s right, I’m still bitter. Fuck the Patriots. I hope Chad Johnson scores 3 touchdowns, then dances on Randy Moss’s corpse, while Bridget Moynahan and Gisele get in a threesome with Carson Palmer. Fuckin’ Patriots.