Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Disappointment, thy names are Chad and Britney
I live a pretty good life. I have a great job that I love, loyal friends, a nice house and a family that cares about me. So disappointment isn’t something I have to deal with on a regular basis. That said, this week was INCREDIBLY disappointing for me, thanks to two people who built up my hopes and dreams, only to crush them like Ray Lewis’ triceps (and as an aside, Ray Lewis getting injured is just about the polar opposite of disappointing).
So I’m sending out a big AdamReisinger.com WHAT THE FUCK! to Chad Johnson and Britney Spears.
Let’s address Mr. Cinco first. Chad, you promised me the greatest touchdown celebration in the history of the world. I built my entire Monday around this, going so far as to host a Monday Night Football party (another disappointment, BTW, since only Bearman showed -- thanks Bearman! And screw you everyone who skipped out and left me with 30 bottles of alcohol in my fridge). I wrote about this in my inaugural edition of “Three to Get Ready” and I even bought your jersey. That’s right, I jumped on the “Ocho Cinco” bandwagon, only to have you throw on some lame jacket that doesn’t even qualify as one of your own top 10 celebrations, but less the greatest off all time. You’ve got one more touchdown to show me something, then you’re done.
As for Britney... poor, poor, Britney. The only positive that came out of her so-called “comeback” is that I’m pretty sure I’ve got a shot with her now. I’m not sure if I want it, but I don’t think she’d flat out reject me anymore. Which, really, is just a sad statement on her career (which, for all intents, ended with Justin Timberlake’s “Cry Me a River” video). If I could, I’d just imagine that the last 4 years of her career never happened. In fact, that’s what I’m going to do. Hey, it’s 2003 all over again. I think this “Toxic” song could be a big hit Britney. But stay away from this Federline guy. And the buffet table. Maybe you should try to get back with Justin or something. I get a feeling his career could take off soon. Oh, and Tim Wakefield, you may want to pitch very carefully to Aaron Boone. Don’t know what that has to do with Britney, but if we’re going back to 2003, we might as well take care of some other business.
So, that’s how I deal with disappointment. Make ultimatums I can’t back up and pretend to be in the past. Man, a psychologist could have a field day with me. Oh, also, when I need to deal with disappointment, I watch this again:
I was 21 and in college. Britney was smokin’ hot. Good times, my friend, good times. The past is now, my friend. Soak... it... up... (I have no idea what that means. My brain turns to mush when I watch this video).