The Saga of Kobe-Wan

He wants to be traded. He doesn’t want to be traded. He definitely wants to be traded.

Who knows what Kobe Bryant is thinking at this exact moment (probably something along the lines of “damn, I’m good” or “I wonder what I should buy today with my millions of dollars”) but we can probably take a pretty good guess what Mitch Kupchak is thinking (something along the lines of “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck me... oh shit I’m so fucked”).

Personally, I think Kobe is going to be traded. I also think Kevin Garnett is going to be traded this summer. In fact, the Trade Machine lets us have lots of fun with these possibilities. For example, check out this trade, that will never happen ever:

Gerald Green
Sebastian Telfair
Tony Allen
Wally Szczerbiak

Al Jefferson
Rajon Rondo
Theo Ratliff
Ryan Gomes

Kevin Garnett
Kobe Bryant

Obviously the Celtics would also be sending the No. 5 overall pick this year to one of these teams (probably the Lakers) and a pair of future first rounders to the other team. Not that the new Celtics would need draft picks. With a backcourt of Delonte West and Kobe Bryant, and Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett at the forwards, I could probably play center and we’d still win at least 50 games.

As it is, this crazy trade leaves Boston with the young but raw Kendrick Perkins at center. Sure, the 6th man of this team is either Allan Ray, Brian Scalabrine or Leon Powe, but I’m pretty sure with that core, Boston could convince some guys to sign in Beantown to win a ring.

Realistically, here’s the Kobe Bryant trade I think should happen:

Shawn Marion
Raja Bell
Leandro Barbosa

Vladimir Radmanovic
Kobe Bryant

Here’s the kicker -- by throwing in Barbosa, the Suns may be able to convince the Lakers to not ask for the Hawks’ unprotected 1st-round pick in ’08. If LA does want a pick, Phoenix has a pair of 1st rounders this year. Hell, give them both up to make this happen (and, again, keep Atlanta’s likely lottery pick for next season). Imagine Kobe -- the league’s ultimate scorer -- with Steve Nash -- the league’s ultimate distributor. It would be an amazing thing to watch. Unfortunately, the likelihood of the Lakers trading Kobe within the Pacific Division is about the same as the likelihood of this post winning a Pulitzer Prize.