OK, so now that I’m calm...

I'm still not sure exactly what happened at the end of "Alias" last night. First off, I'm not entirely convinced Lauren is dead. We've seen way too many people die on this show, only to show up later alive, to believe that if Sydney and Vaughn just left her in a hole then she's definitely dead. As for the ending, the theories being bandied about the Internet are varied -- some crazy and some possible.

One theory is that Jack has been secretly running the Convenant with Irina this whole time, and knew about Katya's split loyalties, Lauren's duplicity, etc., etc. He tried to bring Sloane in but couldn't control him (no one on this show has been able to yet) and thus all the craziness with Sloane and his daughter at the end. I don't really buy all this, but it could be interesting.

Another theory is that Jack isn't actually Sydney's father, but simply her "CIA handler" since her birth and that she's some kind of government created super-agent. While the latter part of the theory is a little too "Dark Angel" for my tastes, the first part could be interesting, as it would drastically change the dynamic on the show.

Oh, and would someone please just kill Sark. Just kill him. He's useless to the CIA for info, a slimy bastard, and I hate his guts. And if the bullet that kills Sark should somehow end up lodged in Sloane's head, I wouldn't mind that either.

On a happier, less violent note, check to your right for a new DGOW -- Jennifer Garner (what, you expected Melissa George, aka, uber bitch Lauren).